News Alert! Zombies Are Attacking!

Here is a scenario that's been playing in my head quite often. What happen if the undead starts to attack us? Where would you go? What would you do? Yes, I been watching way too much zombie flicks.

Now, I ain't talking slow moving zombies that you can simply walk past them. I am talking about fast moving zombies, the likes of those in '28 Days Later' and the 'Dawn Of The Dead' remake. Those that will wet your pants when you see them running at you.

For me, if one morning [hardly unlikely I wake up in the morning] I wake up to find myself in zombie nation, I probably phone my parents 1st. Since, I'm at Meow's place most of the time. But unless, the zombies are trigger by cellphone...as in Stephen King's Cell. Then I guess I'm good as dead anyway.

In the book 'Cell', people starts to turn into zombie-like because of a pulse in cellphones. And about a few minutes, anyone who answer a cellphone, will turn into violent psycho zombies. And if such thing happens now, chances are majority of us will turn to zombies. How many people you know that doesn't own a handphone?

So if is trigger by cellphone, then I guess is alright to SMS. According to the book, it never state SMS as a trigger. That is if you know the cause of all these zombies are from cellphone. Now, if that's the case. I probably use the housephone...to call someone I hate on their cellphone. HEH.

Here are couple of things to do when zombies attack. Feel free to add on.

[1] Before zombies attack your place, store as much food as you can in your house. Also bottle water, just in case public water are affected.

[2] Don't use a cellphone to contact anyone [read 'Cell']. Use housephone. And when calling the other person, make sure you are calling their HOUSEphone not their CELLphones!

[3] If you got a car? Good, park it direct behind your house. If you are living a few floors up, use a rope to climb down the roof of your car and prey no zombies nibble your leg. A car is good for escaping.

[4] Lock all doors and windows that are beside the corridoor. [Don't lock all then you die from lack of air]

[5] Since we don't have guns [is against the law here] grab whatever things that is long and hard [not your dick] for defend.

[6] Hit their head [not your head, the zombies's!]

[7] Cut off their head if you got the balls to get near. [Again, I'm referring to zombies's head and your own balls.]

[8] Use internet to pak games and chat.

[9] Have sex. For is probably the last chance you going to get.

[10] Don't hide in the shopping mall. There might be a lot of food and drinks but there aren't safe. [Watch 'Dawn Of The Dead']

[11] If you are bitten by a zombie, BITE THE REST OF YOUR FRIENDS!!